Let Me Live in a House By the Side of the Road

Last year, I began to record my thoughts, my history, my doings, and my hope in Jesus Christ in earnest. I hope that at least some of this has been inspirational.

This week, we had an opportunity to speak with a dear friend, who was at a time in her life when she was very concerned that she should discover God’s perfect will for her life. She just wasn’t sure which option was “the” option that God wanted and needed more time to pray about it. I know this is on the hearts of many who are walking with the Lord. Should I make a right turn here, or continue down this path?

Then I had a dream yesterday morning, in which I encountered several people in various situations and somehow, I was able to help them. Try as I might, I couldn’t remember later what I helped them with, and neither could Eric (though I always tell him my best dreams). I only know I woke up smiling and feeling satisfied, as I’d been helping people with something I could do and it was something that needed to be done. 

The discussion with Eric when I awoke then led to my Grandpa Ware. You see, I know that one of the things he most loved to do was helping people. Sure, he had his bad points, but he was also convinced in his own mind that as long as he could be useful, he had a purpose in life.

Grandpa was born on Christmas Day, 1911, the same year Sam Walter Foss died. Foss was the writer of a poem Grandpa loved. Perhaps the poem is not as popular as it once was, I don’t really know, but I remembered the poem as I remembered Grandpa. Here it is: House By the Side of the Road.

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn

In the place of their self-content,

There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,

In a fellowless firmament,

There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths

Where highways never ran -

But let me live by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

Where the race of men go by -

The men who are good and the men who are bad,

As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner's seat

Nor hurl the cynic's ban -

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road

By the side of the highway of life,

The men who press with the ardor of hope,

The men who are faint with the strife,

But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,

Both parts of an infinite plan -

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,

And mountains of wearisome height,

That the road passes on through the long afternoon

And stretches away to the night.

And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice

And weep with the strangers that moan,

Nor live in my house by the side of the road

Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road,

Where the race of men go by -

They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,

Wise, foolish - so am I.

Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,

Or hurl the cynic's ban?

Let me live in my house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

When you find illustrations for this poem, they are always very rural settings -- some dirt pedestrian path leading through a forest, across a meadow, or up a mountain. In earlier days, the landscape where Grandpa lived in Southern California might have answered that description, but during the latter years that led up to his passing, he lived in a house on a street in Lakewood, where, if we were visiting and wanted to go out the front door, he stopped us, warning of drive-by shootings. He had bars on his windows that reminded me of a prison. So if he mentioned the poem, I would complain to him about his living conditions. Sure, there was a road in front of his house, but the men who went by were in noisy, fast-moving cars, and apt to do him harm. 

Here he is as a younger man, in Independence, Missouri, on the front porch of the house he grew up in, with my mom and his father.

Waiting on the porch of a house by the side of a road

But Grandpa’s focus was on helping, wherever he was needed, and he wanted to be where the need was. He was Mr. Fixit Man, whether it involved painting, installing a doorknob or toilet, or providing money for a good cause. Towards the end, he was pretty sure the only thing he could still do was provide money for a good cause. And at the very end, he was dismayed because with his advanced “Old Timer’s,” as Grandma Ware put it, it appeared there really wasn’t anything left that he could do. If he couldn’t be useful, he reasoned, why was he still here?

Indeed, why are any of us still here? And how do we find God’s perfect will for our lives? Are we waiting for skywriting? Or perhaps God could inscribe it on the dining room wall during supper, à la Belshazzar.

I’ve been busy these days working on Christmas. I make it a point to drill some things into the heads of the little children who learn the songs for our annual Christmas program. This year it is, that “Emmanuel” in “O Come O Come Emmanuel” means “God with us.” And God Incarnate means “God in a body.” He came so that he could be with us and communicate with us. We think then, that HIs disciples were lucky because they got to talk to Him directly. How many of them asked, “How can I know what God's will is for my life?”

That really is a good question. I mean, look at this!

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”

~Matthew 7:21

If it is that important to do the will of the Father, we’d better find it out, right? 

Then they said to Him, "What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?"

Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent."

~John 6:28-29

He kept coming back to that!

And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day."

~John 6:40

But what if our main purpose is to be a friend and help others along the path, as long as we can and as best we can – to act on our belief in Jesus in our day-to-day encounters? 

After Eric and I reflected upon my dream and my memories of Grandpa, and even found the poem, we read our daily Scripture together and found this in Proverbs: 

“The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the LORD.”

~Proverbs 16:33

That sounds like Purim! The bad guy, Haman, who was out to annihilate the Jews, cast lots to decide what day that destruction he had been scheming should happen. But the lots always fell to a date far in the future, giving the Jews time to figure out what to do. The writer of Esther doesn’t say it, but it is implied that God was orchestrating Haman’s demise, even as Haman was planning the demise of God’s people. God was working all things together for good, as He still is today.

I told Eric we should have our friend flip a coin, as the verse suggests. In the end, if one option seems as good as another, the best thing to do is to just choose one, and then trust that God will do His work through you, whatever option is chosen. 

It may very well be that God doesn’t have a stupendous, glamorous work in mind for you. It may be that His plan for you is simpler, consisting of those many little opportunities that come along to help someone with a hard task or offer a word of encouragement. Perhaps you are to help carry a heavy burden, to come alongside someone during a part of their journey, or to give them a drink of water or a bite to eat in Jesus’ Name. These “chance” opportunities are also known as “Divine Appointments.” They may look like a roll of the dice to us, but to God, they have been on His appointment calendar since Day One.

I’ve written about “Others” before. You may want to go back and review that one. But the main point is that helping others is far better than competing with others. I know I have often failed at that myself. We should never smugly decide that we are better than others and not offer any assistance. It doesn’t give us any points in Heaven. 

Have you ever wanted to help someone along the way but felt like it would be awkward to ask? It just might be. But sometimes we just can’t wait for a “Help Wanted” sign.

There is a memory that haunts me. Eric and I were checking out of some store, and the girl scanning our items looked sad or tired. She sported a black eye. I suppose she had a good alibi for the eye, and if I had drawn attention to it, she might not have been honest with me, but I said nothing. Could I have helped her? Could we have found a way to help this stranger out of, say, an abusive relationship? Now I think of the famous Gabby Petito case, and how she and her boyfriend Brian Laundrie had been stopped by police, who didn’t use the opportunity to help her, even though there were warning signs, but only sent them on their way. Now, she’s dead, and so is he.

There is a true story I’ve heard of, about a young man in a military training school, whose class had to complete a series of endurance exercises. In one of them, all of the young cadets had to run ten miles carrying a 50-lb. bag of sand. If they didn’t all complete the exercise, the whole class would fail. Towards the end, one young man collapsed, unable to continue. But Mike, seeing him collapse, asked if he would be able to finish the course if he didn’t have to carry the weight. His comrade said he thought he could, so he got his legs under him, and Mike finished his course with both his own bag and the other man’s. Because of his heroic deed, the class passed.

I couldn’t have done that in a million years. I often can’t even get a lid off a jar! But I can spell, I can type, I can do a math problem, sing a song, and play a drum. There are things I can do to make others’ lives easier. More than that, I can pray for someone, and occasionally I can hear from God and pass on His wisdom in a puzzling situation or encourage the greatness I perceive in another. In that case, the wisdom or greatness themselves do not come from me, but God’s inspiration travels through me. 

Sometimes, all it takes is a hug.

Can I be a friend to man? I can try, and I think I can do better. Jesus of Nazareth was “God in a Body.” But you know what? He still is that! 

The Body of Christ is The Church, and it is His will to speak and act through us, His people.

Father God, give us, Your people, tasks that we can do and that are needed. Help us to be available for other people and not shrink back because we might embarrass ourselves. Help us to act upon our faith and do the works of God, that others, seeing, might also believe in the One who sent Jesus.

Until You come again, Jesus, may Your will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven.

For it is in Your Name we pray, Amen.