It Is Not Good That Man Should Be Alone: Lisa’s Wedding

This is my one hundredth post. I don’t know how much of a difference this blog has made in my world, and in fact, I may never know, but I’ve enjoyed the journey, and at least I have everything written down in case I develop some kind of memory loss.

Saturday we witnessed our eldest daughter’s re-marriage, in my seventh gig as Mother-of-the-Bride. It was a good wedding and James and Lisa are off on their honeymoon now, which gives me a chance to reminisce. 

I thought about writing something on your Facebook page, Lisa, but I would have more room here. You were our first to be married and now you are our last. Sounds like “the first shall be last.” May it stay that way.

Being pro-life from the get-go, Lisa was the daughter who stretched and challenged me to have more kids. When I did, she eventually found herself surrounded by cute but noisy and messy small people, who made it difficult to concentrate on her high school assignments. Sharing her living space with sisters was tough until she decided to move to the attic. She was willing to sweat or partially freeze, depending upon the season, in order to have a room of her own. After she married, that was the end of the room of her own, and several kids of her own came along, lickety-split.

But after a divorce, the room of her own was back. It should not have been, but it was. And Lisa found out that occupying a room by yourself is not all that it’s cracked up to be. 

Lisa’s first wedding, at age 17, took place in our front yard. We didn’t have much, but we had good friends. Two people took pictures for us at no charge, a grandma made the cake, and we planted flowers all over the yard, cut down our big mulberry tree, borrowed chairs, and prayed it would stop raining. Lisa’s little brothers and sisters found themselves with jobs at the wedding, and it was as short as possible because the groom was really nervous.

Six kids later, the “till death do us part” part of the vow was broken by her husband. We won’t go into all the pain that caused, but thankfully, Lisa had the better job, so she got the kids and the house, and she dealt with the rejection by praying through her fiery trial. She painted the room she had shared with her ex-husband pink and cute, and then ended up selling the property anyway and moving closer to the church (a good move).

Then she met James Sparks. Then Saturday, she was married again, nearly 27 years later. 

One of the biggest smiles I’ve seen in a long time, as Lisa’s eldest 

daughter Joy, her matron of honor, pins on her veil.

James was overwhelmed and honored by the privilege of marrying Lisa. Lisa had, by far, the longer composition for the personal vows time. But both were very sincere. James has a resounding belly laugh, but it was a good thing he wasn’t wearing mascara, for he shed many a tear, beginning at the rehearsal the night before. 

James, feeling overwhelmed by the moment.  Part of his own vows was 

about how everything he had been through had been worth it, to prepare him for this moment.

All I have wanted for our daughters is the same I have always wanted for myself—a man who will, like our Lord Jesus Christ, never fail nor forsake them. I believe James will fit that bill, and I think they’re going to have a fun honeymoon.

Before the Big Weekend, I sent Lisa this piece that I found “just layin’ around,” which she totally understood and enjoyed, not because she’s necessarily “old,” but because she is older and wiser now than she was at 17. Read this very slowly and understand it.

 

When People Marry

© 2022 Michael L. Porter 

 

When young people marry, they have very little experience, but are looking forward to a long future filled with kids and careers.

 

When old people marry, they have long pasts and realize that they have short futures.

 

When young people face the challenges of marriage bravely, they do so confident in the good that the future holds for them.

 

When old people face the challenges of marriage, they know what horrors life can hold, but carry on bravely anyway.

 

When young people marry, they make vows without really understanding what a vow is.

 

When old people marry, they understand vows and the importance of keeping them—even when it hurts.

 

When young people marry, the most important word in their vocabulary is “tomorrow.”

 

When old people marry, the most important word in their vocabulary is “today.”

 

When young people marry, it’s a party and a celebration.

 

When old people marry, it’s a tearful fulfillment.

 

Those vows do mean something. People are not video game characters, so that if you shoot them, they resurrect and have three more lives. But James and Lisa have another crack at this marriage thing, and when these vows they made before God and man Saturday are kept, it will be so much more than tears at a wedding—it will be lifetime companionship, even if their lifetimes are closer to the end now.

The first time Lisa was married, her sisters and brothers were in the wedding

and I was pregnant with her little brother. 

This time, her daughters and James’s daughter (far right) were her bridesmaids, 

she’s a grandma, and I am a great grandma.

Human beings need each other. We found that out during Covid, and the lesson will likely never be forgotten, at least by those who lived through 2020. Long term isolation is solitary confinement, a spirit-breaking punishment.

The Lord God said, “It is not good that Man should be alone.” That was just before He invented Marriage. In His perfect plan, life on earth was intended to be a partnership between a man and a woman, the two genders of the species called “Man.” 

It was not good that Lisa should have a room of her own for very long. It is worth any clothing messes, snoring, or even occasional smacks from your partner while they’re wildly rolling over, to have that God-ordained companionship, to share that room with a special, sanctified spouse.

Lisa and James sharing the cake and the juice, as we celebrated the Lord’s Supper with them.

This picture was pretty special. Lisa asked her dad to officiate Communion at the reception, which was originally what the cake and wine in an American wedding were supposed to symbolize. Eric stressed the part of the Galilean wedding to which Jesus was alluding when He was in the Upper Room observing the Passover with His disciples.  

When Jesus said He was going to His Father’s house to prepare a place for us, He also promised to return, just like a Galilean groom, and receive His Bride the Church to Himself when the rooms were ready. Lisa and James are a picture of that great event to come, when He comes back. The cake is like Jesus’ body, broken for us, and the juice is like Jesus’ blood, shed for the remission of sins.  

It’s not about a food fight, it’s about His faithfulness.

“For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes.” 

~1 Corinthians 11:26

Maranatha! Even so, Lord Jesus, quickly come!