Around the 1980’s, we started to see a philosophy creep into our society, and I believe it started in the schools. We started hearing about “The Me Generation.” People needed to, so they said, “feel good about themselves.” As a result, we became a more pampered culture, more egocentric. How that could make us better humans was yet to be seen. I would say the experiment hasn’t turned out very well.
Reminder: This chapter is mostly written to my fellow-believers in Jesus Christ. But even if you don’t fit that description, please read this post anyway, and all the way to the end. There’s something there for you.
Who Am I, Then?
This is a morning glory – a small flower among many, that is here today and gone tomorrow. As long as the sun is up, it is beautiful, but when the sun goes away, it’s finished. This particular species is a field bindweed. By itself, it’s not very impressive, and by the name, you can tell it’s classified as a weed, but with many others in the field, it sure is beautiful!
The main difference between my life now, and what I thought it was even five years ago, is that I’m able to better understand that some of what I did was caused by other people. That realization doesn’t let me completely off the hook. Whatever is my responsibility, needs to be dealt with – even if I become aware of it and convicted of it decades later.
Just this year (2020), decades after my experiences with Grandpa, I had another interaction with my biological brother Dan (alias “Junior”). After discussing things with my real brother, I had decided to revisit my relationship with Dan, which had been strained for many years. Was it possible to renew diplomatic relations with him? Had he grown up yet?
In my letter, written by my own hand, I apologized for anything I could think of that could have made him so eternally mad at me.
What I got in response was a tirade in which he blamed me for everything wrong in the lives of himself and our sister Rennie: bad relationships, marriages gone sour, and every wrong choice that either of them had ever made.
There was absolutely no mercy. I experienced a crushing guilt that left me feeling like I could not breathe. But I also felt in those moments as if I were experiencing just a tiny particle of how Jesus must have felt when the load of guilt and shame for the entire world, for all of history, was laid upon His shoulders. I sobbed for what seemed like hours – who knows, it might have been hours!
But when I finally remembered that all my sins were already forgiven, I refused to accept that guilt. It was not mine to bear. Jesus, too, was completely innocent, but He took on all of our guilt and shame, willingly. He died for me and my sins, and He died for my sister’s and my brother’s sins too. I’ve received that forgiveness, and I belong to Jesus.
With that in mind, I am totally aware that we all need encouragement. When I was going through this, others who are close to me were able to remind me of the promises in God’s Word for the believer in Christ.
Here’s the thing: We don’t need to love ourselves more, we need to believe God more. There’s a song I like, “Who You Say I Am,” because it has so many thoughts directly based on the Scriptures.
Yes! We can believe what He says about us because that’s 150% accurate.
Just take a look at these marvelous verses from Romans 8. Pretend this is my New King James Bible. I’m going to mark it up the way I would in my Bible, except that should you actually see my Bible, you would also see many tiny notes in the margins, arrows to connect my thoughts, and words circled. You’ll notice I took out my handy-dandy Bible Highlighter for the last two verses. These are critical!
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
17 and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,
39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This is only a small fraction of the truth about who we are in Christ. Here’s more – we are God’s creation, made in His own image, loved with an everlasting love, redeemed by Christ’s sacrifice, set apart for good works, purified and made holy to be the Bride of Christ.
If you believe in Jesus Christ, truly, the best is yet to come!
The New Commandment
Now here’s the rest of the story. Besides clarifying the Old Testament commandment for the lawyer about who is our neighbor, Jesus gave His disciples a brand new commandment the evening of the Last Supper. What do you think – is it easier or harder? How shall we then love?
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
~John 13:34-35
Both Paul (Ephesians 5:28-29) and Jesus are leading us to the higher truth that we should not be living an egocentric life, focused on ourselves. We must love others: to make sure that they are also fed and their needs met. All their needs. To get you started, think about your own needs, and how you can help meet those needs for others.
This is what motivates the Believer to perform those acts of charity – the thought of “If I were in his shoes, what would I need?” In the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:28-37), it was clear that the victim of the robbery needed immediate emergency healthcare, lodging, a good meal, and some clothing. What’s more, he was going to need them over an extended period of time. The Samaritan was able to meet those needs. He was loving his neighbor as himself. And that’s what the verse really means.
“Father, I am like that morning glory, small and fragile, but not overlooked. You have given meaning and purpose to my life. Though my stay on earth may be brief, let my life give glory and joy to the Giver of Life, the Son, and may I be focused on Him and the Light He gives.
“Now let us, your disciples, go forth to serve, loving one another as You have loved us, a sacrificial kind of love. We will need your Holy Spirit to give us the wherewithal to do that and to follow in Your footsteps.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
What If I Still Really Do Hate Myself?
Do you ever get those junk mail ads that you open, skim, briefly reflect on how many innocent trees went into the making of all this promotional stuff, and then start to toss into the “circular file,” only to spy a small paper that says, “ONLY OPEN THIS IF YOU’VE DECIDED NOT TO BUY”? Well, that’s what this is.
If you believe you really do hate yourself, someone has you believing you have no value. Don’t believe it! There is an enemy of mankind, Satan, who has come to steal, kill, and destroy. He is called the Father of Lies, and he is lying to you. Speaking of the devil, Jesus says in John 8:44:
“He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” ~John 8:44
Several years ago, I went to a Women’s Retreat at Turkey Run State Park. The organizers of the retreat had wisely allowed time for personal reflection -- to go somewhere and be alone with God for a while. As I did so, many things ran through my mind, thoughts of comfort and peace. And then the Lord spoke to me. It was a gentle voice, one that could not have been heard in a noisy place, but it was plain as day out here in the woods. He spoke my name, and gave it meaning.
You must understand that, for most of my life, I had disliked my name. Firstly, it was a nickname, and people always wanted to know what my “real name” was. But secondly, I didn’t like the “real name” of “Margaret,” which is my mother’s name. It sounds harsh. There’s nothing nice about the way it sounds. Most of the time, if I signed a personal letter, I would use a pseudonym, or simply, “me.” To top it off, there are only a few things you can do with “Margie,” and Dan had done them all – you can shorten it to “Marge” which rhymes with “Large” and “Barge.” Or you can expand it to “Margarine,” which actually was better (but not butter).
But then the Lord spoke my name, and when He did, it sounded beautiful and amazing. There was no harshness, no meaninglessness. I thought I could really like that name if I always heard it spoken so lovingly. If you understand vocal music, you can understand the difference in effect between singing “R,” (which sounds growly) and singing an open-throated “AHHH”. That’s something like what I heard.
But there was more. The Lord said to me, “I’m giving you a new name. You are Pearl.”
Pearl? At first I wasn’t sure that was any better, because that was the name of my grandpa’s wife. But the name itself is what was important, not other people I knew who also had the name. It is the meaning of “Margaret.” And spoken by the Lord to me, in that woods, it was a love song. I know that in the Book of Revelation, Jesus speaks of those who overcome getting a new name, but I felt like I was getting mine early. God called me a bright, iridescent pearl. I was overcome, and the tears rolled down my face.
I didn’t tell many people at the time. Did you ever hear, “Yeah, that’s my name, don’t wear it out!” I kind of felt that way. And I didn’t know what people would think if I told them I heard God talking to me out in the woods. So it was my secret, a beautiful, encouraging secret.
There’s a parable Jesus told in Matthew 13 about a merchant who found a pearl of great price and sold all that he had to purchase it. That’s what Jesus did for me. And that’s what Jesus did for you. There is no doubt that each of us, individually, matter so much to Jesus, that He died on a cross and gave everything he had to purchase us, so that we would belong to Him. He counts us as His own personal treasure.
And He wants us in His family!
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. ~John 1:12-13
Each of us needs to believe in Jesus, the Son of God, and receive Him into our heart. Then, we can be a child of God, and we will inherit all those promises I marked up in my New King James Bible earlier. There are no exceptions – this is God’s Peace Plan, and you can be a part of it.
Would you like to be my real brother or sister? You can do that now. Just ask!
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