Tech School, Eric, and a California Wedding

I began to think seriously about this Eric Haley fellow because he was so serious about me. What were the pros and cons? Pros – he was really cute! He gave me his high school picture and I put it in my wallet. He had his own car. He knew the same songs I did, and we made beautiful music together. And we could talk about anything together. He had quickly become my best friend. We both loved Jesus. He spoke of a coffeehouse ministry where he’d come from, that sounded like the Fire Escape where Joe had taken me. And he wasn’t going to leave me because I had joined the Air Force!

Cons. Were there any? Was I sure I loved him? Or did that matter?

Eric made good on his promise to visit me at tech school in Wichita Falls. I think only a week passed before he came. It turned out that while we were dating, he was applying to separate from the Active Duty Air Force under the Palace Chase program, trading his remaining active duty time for twice as much time in the Air Force Reserve. During that application period, he had to return to Indiana for an interview. I was on the way. 

He brought his guitar that weekend, a Spanish guitar he named “Cheva” after my grandmother. And he sang me love songs, right there in the open air, like John Denver’s “My Sweet Lady” and “This Old Guitar” with the words changed to “This Lord of Mine.” To this day, I cannot hear those two songs without getting a buzz and thinking of my romantic suitor. This was definitely a new thing for me!

The second time he visited me, he did ask me to marry him, and I said no. A few hours later, I said yes – out of the blue. He hadn’t asked the question again – I just answered it again. I had pretty much decided that instead of trying to analyze whether I was in love with him or not, I would just acknowledge that here was a man who was everything I wanted in a mate. He was my best friend. And he not only didn’t leave me – he actually pursued me, the way Jesus pursued the Church, so that the Apostle John says: “We love Him because He first loved us.”

And then we immediately went to a local jewelry store to find a ring. He wanted to make sure the overwhelming number of male trainees at Sheppard AFB knew I was taken. Eric went back to Indiana, filed for unemployment, and waited for my graduation from tech school.

My roommates knew all about this guy, and they said that Lackland romances never worked out. How do you counter that kind of pessimism? We had no proof to the contrary, only a stubborn determination to see it through and keep our vows. We just told them they could come to our 50th wedding anniversary party. That would actually be in only about five years now, but I sure can’t remember anyone’s names and wouldn’t be able to tell you where they lived, to say nothing of the high probability that they wouldn’t remember me. 

We wrote many letters – he, every day, and I, as often as I could – where we poured out our hearts to one another about everything we could think of. Eric recorded a tape of himself that I still have, where he was talking to me and sharing the Sunday morning sermon at his church, singing various songs, and singing still other songs he had written himself. It was beautiful to hear his voice and play the tape whenever I wanted to. He made me a couple of campaign promises that he couldn’t keep, like getting me a kitten after we got married. He didn’t know he was actually allergic to cats! But one of his songs I planned into our wedding.

Oh yes, the wedding! I was doing that on the side! You see, when I arrived, my school didn’t start right away, as I had thought. I was a “PIT” – pre-training – for about six or seven weeks, where I did everything from pulling CQ (Charge of Quarters) to washing windows. I think maybe God delayed my orders somehow in response to Eric’s fasting and prayer, causing me to miss the start date of the class with the emergency opening, with the result being that I had to wait till the next class started – the one I had originally signed up for. 

During my Christmas leave, I flew back to California, where I spent some time one-on-one with my mom. We went to a Calvary Chapel New Year’s Eve Concert and the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena while I was home, and talked about the wedding. Mom was supportive, but had never even met Eric, and again, this was before the days when you could just have a Skype meeting. I probably mailed her a picture, and I probably arranged for Eric to talk to her on the phone, but mostly my parents just simply trusted my judgment and got ready for a March wedding.

Mom made arrangements by calling me at tech school and asking me all the pertinent questions. I visited a local store somehow and picked out the fabric and pattern for my wedding dress and Diana’s maid of honor dress and mailed them out. Mom’s older friend Hazel made my dress and Diana made her own. Eric booked Bob, the only friend he knew in California, to be his best man. My brother Dan got roped into being an usher whether he wanted to or not, and Joel also served. We told people just to wear blue or purple and it would all be good. My sister Rennie found a beautiful new dress and put her hair up – even though she wasn’t in the wedding.

We were to marry at the Los Alamitos Naval Air Station Chapel, but with a Calvary Chapel pastor, on a Wednesday night in March. Mom was able to snag Pastor Don McClure, who was at the time a young assistant, but couldn’t get Children of the Day as I requested, since they were on tour. She did find someone from the Music Resource Center at Calvary Chapel, who played guitar and who learned Paul Stookey’s “Wedding Song” and Eric’s song from the tape. 

We would have banana nut wedding cake and punch, mints, and nuts, with bouquets of orchids. Grandpa Ware booked the Hawaiian Gardens Lions Club for the reception, and Eric would sing for us there.

Meanwhile, Valentine’s Day was coming up, and Eric’s birthday was the day after it. I went to the BX (Base Exchange) and picked out a blue leather jacket for him. It was rather pricey, but he was going to be my husband! Unfortunately, I didn’t have a box. So I took the only box I had, a Kleenex box, and stuffed that thing full of the jacket to ship it to Indiana. Yes, my future mother-in-law thought I must be crazy, but she’d never met me, either! And, everybody loved the jacket.

Eric bought me a couple of weeks’ worth of presents, shipping them all in one large box. They were all wrapped and labeled with the day I was supposed to open them, with little love notes inside. It turned out I was sick with a stomach flu on Valentine’s Day, compounded by secondhand smoke in a crowded CBPO (Personnel Office). But I had a fuzzy Love Bug and a lot of love notes to keep me happy as I took the rest of the day off.

Finally, after seven weeks of actual technical school training, the Air Force had taught me basic COBOL, and I was ready to be useful.

Eric arrived on the proper day at Sheppard AFB, just as I was marching back from school on the day I graduated. Being the right guide, the entire flight was lined up on me, to my left, and behind me, along with other flights in the squadron behind ours. He thought it humorous to stand directly opposite from me when the flight halted but had yet to be dismissed, so we were still standing at attention. 

The man grinned, waved, blew kisses, and everything else he could to make me break my placid concentration. And as soon as we were dismissed, we were together again, doing one of those slow-motion running-into-each-other’s-arms scenes. At least that’s how I remember it – Eric remembers it a little differently. 

Our agenda, the week of the wedding, began on Sunday – we took a walk along the beach of an ocean Eric had never before seen, but since it was March, it was far too cold to swim. Except that Eric REALLY wanted to put me in the water, … and he would NOT take no for an answer, even though I was wearing my brand new blue jeans. So, he struggled with me and was finally able to get my pants wet, and I had some last-minute second thoughts about just how our marriage would go.

We had a bridal shower on Monday night, hosted by my maid of honor, Diane, who was a member of the Baptist Church Youth Group and who played in their orchestra. She invited several members of the Youth Group to the bridal shower, including some guys, so I had some new trinkets and such to add to the hope chest Dad had built for me back when I was in sixth grade. 

We met Pastor Don McClure the day before the wedding (Tuesday) and had only one counseling session. (What made him agree to that?) He wasted no time. In a matter of minutes, he had us confessing our sexual sins and repenting. NOW we were ready.

The next day, we ate hot dogs with Coney sauce at Bob’s Big Boy, along with Pastor Don and the wedding party, directly followed by the wedding itself. Eric said he would only have onions on his Coney dog if I did. (I can’t remember if we did.) Here’s the wedding party:

Here is my favorite wedding tradition. And I don’t think I even knew this till I heard about the tradition while we were planning one of our daughters’ weddings. My favorite part is walking down the aisle. The tradition says the bride's former suitors are part of the ceremony, watching from the audience. But the bride's gaze is fixed firmly on the man at the end of the aisle, her intended, her True Love. Everyone else is passed up – all the old beaus are rejected as she passes them, until finally, she has physically “forsaken all others.” 

This is a picture of Christ and the Church, His Bride, and in March of 1975, the two of us were reenacting on earth what has already taken place in Heaven. Just look at these prophetic words about the wedding of the Son of God, from Psalm 45:

All Your garments are scented with myrrh and aloes and cassia, Out of the ivory palaces, by which they have made You glad.

Kings' daughters are among Your honorable women; At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.

Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your father's house;

So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him.

And the daughter of Tyre will come with a gift; The rich among the people will seek your favor.

The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace; Her clothing is woven with gold.

She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors; The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You.

With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought; They shall enter the King's palace. 

~Psalm 45:8-15

We did forget a few things, like turning on the tape recorder and planning for a recessional song. My veil was accidentally constructed upside-down, and I stepped on my hem on the way up to the altar. But the wedding “took.” Approximately 40 people witnessed it. 

The ushers painted the car windows with shoe polish, and when it was all over, we raced down the road from Los Alamitos to the reception in Hawaiian Gardens, with all the horn honking we could muster. My mom had a “Moo” horn in her car and my dad had an air horn and an “Ah-OOO-gah.”

On Wednesday night, we stayed at the Disneyland Hotel, a gift from Aunt Jackie. On Thursday night, we slept together on my mom’s couch. Or, well, I did, and Eric mostly slept on the floor. Our first difference of opinion: Was it a couch or a sofa?

By Saturday we had a new trailer hitch installed on Eric’s Maverick and filled a small U-Haul trailer with all my earthly possessions, including my hot pink bean bag chair and fuzzy blankets, a sleeping bag, and my homemade plywood hope chest with a few dishes and pans in it. Then we aimed that Maverick towards my first permanent party assignment at Air Force Systems Command Headquarters, Andrews AFB, Maryland, by way of Lafayette, Indiana, where I would finally meet Eric’s parents and we would have another shower. 

Eric and I sang boisterously in the car and had a great time, until we were stopped by a policeman for speeding. He saw what the ushers did to the car, though, and congratulated us. It had been a week to remember!

On Meeting Margie (Eric’s Perspective)

For the purposes of this narrative, my life began when I was 14. In the summer of 1969, I was born again. This was a real conversion from death to life in a truly spiritual way. My life’s direction changed dramatically. My introverted nature changed, and so did my vision for the future. I became “the preacher” to many of my friends. I was a wholehearted and full-throated Jesus Freak, sharing the Gospel clearly and without hesitation. My focus in life was now ministry … and girls. 

OK, there were a few things that didn’t change, but even my early searching for “the right one” was now with the understanding that I would find her in the Body of Christ. I was looking for someone who was on the same road and wanted to share in my life’s journey. That search had always been interrupted and my hopes dashed, mostly by the lack of shared vision. I was not finding the perfect mate. 

Of course that very rarely happens at age fourteen, or fifteen, or even sixteen, but by the time I reached 18 and had joined the military (at the suggestion of a girlfriend), I had a wallet full of pictures of all my past hopefuls, so much so that it raised eyebrows when the Basic Training Instructor ordered us to empty our pockets and our wallets and lay everything out on the bed. Instead of asking me questions like, “Any roach clips?” he asked, “Any condoms?” I had no condoms, but I sure felt condemned. 

In the fall of 1974, after 14 months in the Air Force, I had finally arrived at the end of my vain search for the “right one.” I was emotionally worn out. I even made a vow to the Lord that I was going to wait on Him, and I shared this with some of my closest friends. Then, within a week, it all happened. I fell totally and incurably in love.

I was singing in a church choir at the Lackland Air Force Base Chapel, when I looked out into the crowd of young men and women, and I saw her for the first time. It was hard to explain to my confidantes in this matter that I fell in love with her before I even met her. “You are hopeless!” was the most remembered expression when I told them about Margie: a beautiful, joyful, very talkative young lady that just gave me every confidence that God was listening to my prayers. Margie Linda, or as she taught me to say it, “Margieleenda” …Antanac No! Anastacio No! Margieleenda Atanacio! 

We were married just a few months later, and now we have been married for 45 years. That whirlwind moment in our lives cannot be explained as wisdom, maturity, or even stepping out in faith. We were, perhaps, foolishly in love, but the foolishness was only on our part. God, in His wisdom, had put two people together in the right place and at the right time. I have never, ever doubted that. 

Back to Margie now: See what I mean about that poster? (See the beginning of my last post.) The Lord brought us together, and we have always been in awe of that.