Now and then, if you happen to be at some kind of seminar about how to succeed without really trying, there would be a question about your future goals. For instance, a question might ask you what you see yourself doing in 10 years, 20 years, etc. Eric and I have never been able to answer those questions because, as our pastor often says, “I’m not a prophet nor the son of a prophet.” And truth be told, we would have surely predicted incorrectly most of our lives.
But now, we are getting closer to the end of the story. Can we more accurately predict how this will all turn out?
Forty-five years ago, we would not have been able to tell you how many kids we would have. In fact, we really never talked about kids before we were married or early in our marriage. We didn’t even know if we would have any kids at all. Now we can tell you the answer to that question beyond the shadow of a doubt, along with all of their names, their dates of birth, their spouses’ names, the names of their kids and some of their grandkids, and we could even look up their social security numbers on our old tax forms.
Now we’re in our 60s. Eric has recently been approved for Social Security, yes, that same Social Security that everybody says will be bankrupt in a short number of years. (And they’re probably right.) I’ll soon be forced onto Medicare because no insurance company will want to cover me after I turn 65.
Many of our friends, over the years, have battled cancer, and/or undergone knee replacements, hip replacements, cataract surgery, back surgery, carpal tunnel surgery, or even open heart surgery. Some, like Eric’s brother Greg, his sister Gayle, and both of his parents, my mom, and all of our grandparents, have given up the ghost and are no longer with us.
Only my dad remains of our ancestors. Besides him, it’s just Eric and me: the family patriarch and matriarch. I have a five generation picture of myself sitting on my mother’s lap, with three grandmas, youngest to oldest:
L to R: Me, Margaret Ware Atanacio, Audentia Burdick Ware,
Audential Peake Burdick (“Coopie”), and Mary Davies Peake
(The Welsh side of the family)
Now I have a different five generation picture with our great grandson Charlie, and I’m on up the line with my dad at the end, oldest to youngest.
L to R: Daniel Atanacio, me (Margie Atanacio Haley), Elizabeth Haley Luper (Lisa),
Elizabeth Luper Murray (Joy), Charles Murray
So last year, we finally made an appointment with an attorney and changed our will. We no longer had to have plans for who could care for our minor children if we should both die. We had none of those left. But we do have a successful business and some assets, so it was important to make some provisions for our end of life.
End of life? Are we almost there? Eric’s dad was 61 when he died and his mom was 75. His brother Greg was 58. How long, then, will Eric live?
My mom was 68 when she died, but my dad is almost 85 and still going strong. How long will I live?
How do we answer the question, “What do we see ourselves doing in ten years?” Eric said if I asked about 20 years, the answer would easily be: “Burying all our friends.” Or, if they outlive us, they might be burying us.
What do we have to look forward to in our old age and what is the likelihood that we will reach an old age? Are we there yet? Eric had been waiting for years to get a senior discount and was thrilled the first time he got one at Golden Corral.
John Denver, who died in a private plane crash at the age of 54, sang about his (presumed) old age in his song, Poems, Prayers, and Promises.
Days, they pass so quickly now, the nights are seldom long.
Time around me whispers when it’s cold.
The changes somehow frighten me, still I have to smile.
It turns me on to think of growing old.
For though my life’s been good to me, there’s still so much to do,
So many things my mind has never known.
I’d like to raise a family, I’d like to sail away,
And dance across the mountains on the moon.
A very good friend of ours passed from this life to the next rather dramatically, when after a church service, he had just made the statement to his wife that he was ready to go anytime. The next moment, his car was struck by a drunk driver, and he was dispatched into eternity with Jesus.
There are simply no guarantees that we will grow old together. I joke around with Eric, and he with me, about how helpless we will be without each other.
That said, here are the top five scenarios that may play out in our lives, ten years from now.
1. When Eric is 76, and I am 74, he may not be able to climb those stairs to the second floor anymore. His back and knees sometimes give him trouble. So maybe we’ll have to trade places with Leonard’s, putting our bookbinders and office workers in The Shoe, and living where the shop is now. But our minds may still be sharp as a tack. Maybe we can get twin wheelchairs and race each other down “Old 25” from one turnaround to the other, but still do consulting for Leonard’s as needed.
2. When Eric is 76, and I am 74, maybe we’ll both be retired and living off our Social Security. Maybe the business will be able to run smoothly by itself, and we can find a used RV so we can travel and see our grandkids, who are spread out from Northern Indiana and Nebraska to New Mexico. We’ve only seen Ariabella once because it’s a three-day trip to where David is stationed. And Vivi’s baby and a third great grandbaby are both scheduled to make their entrances next month, which will be very exciting! But traveling throughout this great country together, reading books and singing songs across the Great Plains … Well, lots of other seniors do it. Maybe that’s our future.
3. Ten years from now, one of us may actually be in Heaven without the other. If that’s Eric, Calvary Chapel Lafayette won’t have Pastor Eric anymore and will be missing a worship leader, the Wednesday morning Carroll County pastor prayer group will be missing a prayer partner, and.the Battle Ground prayer show on the Calvary Radio Network won’t have one of its weekly hosts. But by that time, Eric is sure to not be the only one missing. There are any number of co-ministers who are older than Eric, who might precede him in death. As we run our race, who will be the first to make it to the finish line? And then, will I be one of those who has an identity crisis because I am no longer a pastor’s wife?
Maybe I can make a living writing kids books like Eric’s sister-in-law, Barb Haley, and Susie or Vivian can illustrate them. Maybe one of our grandkids can. Or maybe I can write fiery critiques of our collapsed government and be an influencer. Maybe, just maybe, my writing will stir up people to love and good works, like Eric’s brother-in-law, Dr. Kerry Skinner. In any case, somebody’d better help me with car repairs and mowing the lawn, or at least teach me how!
I won’t speculate on what Eric will be doing ten years from now, if he’s the one who has to run things here without me. He can do whatever he wants, and I can’t stop him!
4. Ten years from now, will we be caring for my dad, who will be 95 by then? Maybe Eric and I will be fine but Dad will need a place to stay. I’ve tried to imagine this scenario, but it’s hard to picture my dad without his large steel building and all those tools he has stored up, without his lumber mill and zip lines, without all the work he has to do on his property in Southern Indiana, which keeps him young.
Or, will one of us no longer be sharp as a tack? Will we start to forget more? Will those memories begin to fade, or maybe just the part of our mind that helps us remember to pay the bills on time, so that someone else has to help us get the job done? Maybe Susie and Joe and their seven kids (by that time) will move into The Shoe, and we can stay in the old shipping and receiving room. Or, maybe we’ll have to move into assisted living somewhere, as our minds begin to wind down.
5. Or, finally, how about this scenario, the one I’m hoping for? What if Jesus comes back for His bride in 2021? What if He takes us directly to Heaven at that time, along with my dad, all our kids and grandkids, those in ministry at Calvary Chapel and Calvary Radio Network, the Leonard’s Books workers, and our friends, neighbors, and loved ones who love the Lord and are anxiously awaiting His return?
“Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”
~2 Tim. 4:8
And then, what if by 2031, Christ has returned to Planet Earth along with his saints on white horses, to crush His enemies and set up His millennial kingdom? Think of it! Ten years from now, we could very well be ruling and reigning with Jesus in our glorified bodies – no more cancer or cataracts, no more psoriasis or near-sightedness, no more evil people persecuting and lying and cheating their way to the top and getting away with it.
I do hope we get to keep the white horses! I will have a new name. It might be Pearl, but only Jesus knows what it is for sure. Maybe you’ll recognize me – more than likely, I’ll still be short. I’ll still have a green complexion. I’ll still have facial features you’ll recognize. I won’t look like an anime’ or Pixar creation, but Jesus will make All Things New.
“And the Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’
And let him who hears say, ‘Come!’
And let him who thirsts come.
Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.”
~Revelation 22:17
I am a Morning Glory. I am here today, and gone tomorrow. But I live to please God, and to glorify Him. May my words bring Him glory and honor, both now, and forevermore. Amen.
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