I’ve known for several months that I would be writing this chapter in my blog eventually. The title was there, but it kept being pushed back further in my outline. The idea was only a thought. But recently, it has become very important, has been discussed in other contexts with people, bounced off Eric, and even tonight as I begin to write this, was mentioned in passing by our pastor at the midweek Bible study. People want to know. Naturally, a funeral isn’t the place to necessarily answer the question outright. Can you imagine a funeral where the pastor starts out by telling the mourners that their loved one is burning in hell?
But eventually, since it is appointed to man to die once, but after this the judgment (Hebrews 3:37), the topic of “The Afterlife” comes up in conversation. Because people around you will die, and then after a while, you will too.
Who is Grandpa Ware? Was he good or bad?
I’ve written quite a bit about my Grandpa Ware. Last week, it was about what he was like just before he died, the funeral, and what we did with the inheritance he left us. But let’s now briefly review the life he led here on earth. If he were to approach the throne of God and the question were asked of him, “Why do you think you deserve to come in?” what would he say? What would other witnesses say?
Or to put it another way, the various kings of Israel and Judah had a summary at the end of the blurb, or even several chapters, that contained highlights of their reign. Usually it was declaring that they were a good king or a bad king, and the good usually had to do with things such as removing objects of idolatry and re-establishing the worship of Yahweh. The bad had to do with going back to the culture of idolatry, often worse than it was before. The summary usually ended with “And King So-and-So slept with his fathers. And his son, Such-and-Such reigned in his stead.”
Could I or should I evaluate my grandfather that way?
Those who were impressed with Grandpa could speak of his accomplishments. They could point to Lee Ware Park, where children had government-sponsored after-school programs, a pool and swimming lessons, and playground equipment. They could talk of the way, a long time ago, Grandpa thwarted the annexation of the area by an adjoining city, to be used as a dump, by incorporating Hawaiian Gardens as its own city, and serving as its first mayor.
They could find lists of charities he sponsored or the large amounts he gave, or talk about all the children who loved him and whom he babysat so their parents could work. They could find all the boards, committees, and councils on which he served, and all the times he was their leader.
They could add up the money he invested in house payments for his poorer relatives. And they could reference the step-great-grandchildren he raised as his own, even going to court to prove their mother unfit so he would have legal custody and provide them a good home and a Christian school education.
But detractors could also build a case against Grandpa. They could point to two people whom he approached sexually – my sister and myself – as children. And then that begs the question of how the children he babysat fared, or the children he raised as his own, from several generations back. My cousin told me how badly he treated his own wife, and then also my cousin’s big sister and brother. My mother told me he had paid for an abortion for an underage teen at least once.
Let’s face it, looking back at the weight of evidence, for all intents and purposes, Grandpa was a corrupt Democrat politician. I’ve seen some of those in the news, and it’s not a pretty sight. Yes, he had wealth. Did he gain it honestly?
I really don’t know.
How does the scale look to you? Does the good outweigh the bad?
There are some people who, upon hearing about my past, have become very angry at Grandpa on my behalf, wishing they could punch or maim him. After all, they reason, Jesus Himself invoked woe upon the individual who would cause one of the little ones who believe in Him to stumble. He said it would be better if said individual wore a 3,300-lb. necklace (a millstone) and were tossed into the ocean (or maybe dropped by a crane). In that case, Grandpa is surely not in Heaven, right?
It is for this reason that I am writing about the subject. It’s time to put the emotional opinions aside and get a good handle on what the Scripture says. Because maybe we don’t even have all the facts necessary to be able to judge the case.
So then, whose opinions count?
What is Trust?
There was a time when I, being young and naïve and raised on a steady diet of heroic tales of Grandpa à la How the West Was Won, would have trusted Grandpa with anything. And I did. And I was snookered. But once I understood that I had been lied to and taken advantage of by such an esteemed personage, I never trusted him again. The trust of a fellow human being, when lost or damaged, is very, very difficult to regain.
Eric put it this way: you can forgive the thief who broke into your house, raped your wife, and pillaged all your belongings, but you wouldn’t want him back in your house again. You might even install security cameras to prevent that.
No, even after the trip to California where Grandpa asked me to forgive him, there was never any thought of sending our children out there to visit him as I had done, And when he came to Indiana to visit us, I always had my eye on him. The trust was gone. He reinforced the need to not trust him, when he chased me around the room asking for romantic kisses.
What is Love?
But does that mean I didn’t love Grandpa? No, it doesn’t.
The Bible names certain groups of persons whom we as Christians are commanded to love.
First and foremost, there’s God – with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind.
Second, there’s our neighbor – as ourselves. In his epistle, James calls this “the royal law.”
Third, Jesus added “one another,” as in fellow Christians – as He loved us: sacrificially.
Fourth, there are our enemies, which includes those who are persecuting us. Those, we are to pray for.
So, who’s left? Isn’t there anybody we can hate? Nope. And this is really hard when it involves someone who has wronged you personally, and even more so when it involves someone who has wronged a loved one. It’s no longer just theoretical.
How do we know if we love someone, then, who has wronged us, or who has wronged others we love? The Bible demands that we love, and that we forgive, and that includes people we no longer trust. That means, I can love Mark Zuckerberg even if I put tape on my laptop camera to prevent Facebook from surveilling me. And … I don’t want this to be true … but it also includes my mother’s husband, and it includes the people who have divorced and rejected my beloved children.
How can I do that? It is by praying for them.
Here’s the test: read Revelation. If you can read about the just and terrible judgments of God upon the sinful world at the time of the Day of the Lord, and then you can hope in your heart that any particular person you know will have to endure that, you need to re-examine your heart. By the grace that Jesus gives us, you can love the most hardened murderer or the most vile politician or … that person who personally wronged you, molested you, or misrepresented the truth and caused you to stumble – if you can pray for their salvation.
Is Grandpa Ware in Heaven?
It has been almost exactly 50 years ago now, since I was molested by my grandpa, in the early summer of 1971. Last year, I began to sift through those memories and sort things out for myself. Talking with my cousin helped a lot because she had additional information. We were able to put together the puzzle of Grandpa’s life and we found that he came up short in a lot of areas.
It made me sad to think that I had received money for our house payments over the years, that could have been viewed by others as “hush money.” It made me angry to think of how many others had been hurt by Grandpa besides me, and how many others could also have been. And it made me sad to think that I had inherited money from him that could have been tainted. I was sad to be related to him. I took his pictures off my wall, so they would stop looking at me.
But I know my Grandpa was tortured by those memories as well, especially when he had Alzheimer’s towards the end. He was obsessed with the thought that we are not saved by our good works, nor are we condemned by our bad works. He was a little fearful of his “rap sheet,” so he kept repeating key verses to others to reassure himself that all would be well when he passed away. And I know how he felt. The devil is consistent about shoving those memories of our bad deeds in our face to evoke a feeling of hopelessness. It had to have been much worse when Grandpa’s brain was deteriorating.
A page in Romans from Grandpa’s Bible, with his notes
The Unpardonable Sin – Does That Apply?
Part of the confusion and anxiety over Heaven and Hell lies in the fact that many of us have heard of something called “the unpardonable sin.” We’re not sure what it is, but we may be pretty sure we’ve committed it. Or, that somebody else has committed it (i.e., someone we don’t like). It’s a little confusing:
"Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.
“Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.”
~Matthew 12:31-32
This has been interpreted many different ways, including the idea that if you disapprove of Pentecostal experiences, you have committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and you will never be forgiven.
But this is not correct.
The Holy Spirit is sent from God to speak directly to your heart as a witness to who Jesus is. He is the Spirit of God, and He is the one who causes your heart to beat faster when you hear a preacher telling you that Jesus loves you as an individual, explaining how He died on a cross to pay for your sins, and speaking about the need to find forgiveness in Him. Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is refusing His message, over and over again, until you die. When that time comes, sadly, you will have no other options, because there is only one way into Heaven.
That’s why this is the one sin that cannot be forgiven. That’s why the Bible says:
“Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: ‘Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, in the day of trial in the wilderness, where your fathers tested Me, tried Me, and saw My works forty years.
“Therefore I was angry with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart, And they have not known My ways.’ So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest.’”
~Hebrews 3:7-11
The Holy Spirit is saying, “Today’s the day. Tomorrow could well be too late!” See why it’s unpardonable to ignore Him?
So … Is Grandpa Ware in Heaven?
I have gone astray like a lost sheep; Seek Your servant, For I do not forget Your commandment. ~Psalm 119:127
David, one of those kings I was talking about earlier, is admitting here that he had gone astray, like a lost sheep. And he surely did, too! He committed murder to cover up his adultery. That’s pretty “astray.” He is begging God to come and find him, like the shepherd did in Jesus’ parable of the lost sheep and the 99 that weren’t. How often we feel like one of the 99% who are content to hang out with the shepherd and never get lost, but the truth is actually this:
All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. ~Isaiah 53:6
That puts us all in the same category. Every single one of us. We need Jesus to save us from our sins.
So now, let’s go back to what I asked at the top:
If he were to approach the throne of God and the question were asked of him, “Why do you think you deserve to come in?” what would Grandpa say?
Here are three things I do not know:
I will never know the extent of Grandpa’s sins. I do know the extent of mine, but I tend to downplay mine …
I will never know the good He did in Jesus’ name. I know some of the things I might possibly be rewarded for, but only God knows my heart. I wonder how many of them will be burned up in the examination by fire at the Judgment Seat of Christ? (Romans 14:10, 2 Corinthians 5:10, 1 Corinthians 3:9-15)
I do not know when he received Jesus as His personal savior, but I’m presuming he was a young man. I know when I did. I was a child. And I know I sinned after that.
When I put Grandpa in that perspective, I know exactly what he would say, or actually, what he already would have said, when he approached the throne of God and the question was asked. It’s the same thing I will say:
“I have nothing to plead but the blood of Jesus. I confessed my sins, and as the Word of God said, He was faithful and just to forgive my sins and cleanse me from all my unrighteousness.” (See 1 John 1:9)
Note in the back of Grandpa’s Bible.
Who is The Judge? It is neither you nor I. We cannot answer the question for another. Only Jesus, the Righteous Judge, truly knows our heart.
But Heaven is real. It is more beautiful than anything we could ever dream up, and someday it will be fully populated by people, for eternity. It is something for which we yearn, but something we can never earn. Only Jesus can make us worthy to enter.
So what can we say at a funeral? It is the same for the saint as for the sinner. Eric first heard this message preached at the funeral for his Grandpa Bryant, well knowing that he had had no interest in Christ for the duration of his life.
“If Rady could speak to you from where he is today, I just know he would say, “Do not miss out on Jesus!”
Here’s another video about the reality of Heaven. See what I mean? The topic just keeps coming up! Take a look at these! And then, if Heaven is where you would like to go when you die, same as me, you need to trust in Jesus! Today is the day!
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