Margie’s Proverbs for her Children

 Chapter 1 (With apologies to King James):

1. My children, hear the wisdom of thy mother and hide it in thy heart.

2. Thou shalt not bonk thy mother in the head with an open cabinet door, for the bruise will be hard to explain.

3. Thou shalt not freely swing thy legs at the table so that they come into contact with thy mother’s legs.

4. Thou shalt not reach across thy mother’s face to clutch the salt shaker.

5. Sit not upon thy chair in the fashion of a kangaroo, nor lean back in it so that it is supported by only two legs.

6. Bite not thy brother nor thy sister but be kind.

7. Cherish thy brothers and thy sisters, for many children in China have none.

8. When thou art grown, thou shalt know what I mean.

9. Thine own parents are a resource as long as they shall live. 

10. They have already gone before thee through much of what thou wilt experience in thine own life. 

11. Therefore, seek their advice, for they long to share it.

12. If thou desirest a share in an ancestor’s inheritance, thou shouldest at least be on good terms with them before they die.

13. Likewise, if thou desirest to go to Heaven, thou shouldst know Jesus the Savior of Mankind before thou diest.

14. If thou desirest to live long upon the earth, thou must never say “You’re not my boss,” to thy mother nor to thy father.

15. Likewise, if thou desirest to keep thy job, thou must never say it to thy boss, for they will take thee seriously.

16. If thou art diligent, thou shalt be promoted. 

17. If thou art lazy, thou shalt be fired. 

18. Thou mayest also be fired for other things, but if thou art lazy, it is almost a sure bet.

19. Our Heavenly Father has placed people in families because it is good.

20. Never worry that thy mother will not know how to hold thy baby, for she once held thee.

21. Thou shalt stay home when thou hast a fever, and contain thy used tissues in the waste basket.

22. Remember to cough into thy elbow and wash thy hands, so that thou givest not Covid to thy neighbor nor thy neighbor’s wife, neither to thy neighbor’s grandmother.

23. Chicken soup really is good for a cold.

24. A clean chicken bone is good for teething babies too, and hence, it is a good way to save money.

25. As it is easier to eat a bowl of ice cream than to exercise for several hours to burn it off,

26. So it is easier to break trust than to lose the respect of others and earn it back again.

27. As it is folly to scribble out a dot, and it is folly to use white correction tape on colored paper,

28. So it is folly to tell a lie to cover up a sin, for all shall be revealed, and the lie will only make matters worse.

29. The way to gain good friends is to always be more concerned about others than about thyself. 

30. When thy brother asks thee to pray, do it right now, so that thou shalt forget it not.

31. If thou hast made a promise to thy brother, thou must keep it.

32. Learn to apologize in all sincerity, but do not do so to a mob of bullies.

33. Thou shouldst never believe the man who tells thee that thy mother and father love thee not, 

34. For the Lord has placed thee permanently upon their hearts, as thou has also been placed upon the heart of the Lord Himself. 

35. My children, go to church, for both fellowship with believers and the Word of God will keep thy heart and thy mind. 

36. They will surely save you from at least some of the traps in thy path. 

37. Churchgoers get into less trouble, and when thy life is coming to an end, 

38. Thou shalt be glad that thou hast gone to church, for thou shalt have fewer regrets.

Chapter 2 ‒ Others

1. I know who I am, and I know Who God is. But who are all these Others around me? 

2. Perhaps that depends upon how I view the Universe. 

3. If I am the center of the universe, then the Others are:

1. My servants

2. Typically hostile

3. Dense, just not as smart as I am

4. Rude

5. Always picking on me

6. An interruption in my day

7. Usually wrong

8. Uninteresting

9. Objects for my scorn

4. But if God is the Center of the Universe, then the Others are:

1. His servants

2. Created in His image, with a mind, will, and emotions

3. Created with a potential to do great things

4. Complex and interesting.

5. Worthy of my respect.

6. Sometimes right and I should listen to them.

7. My fellow sheep, just as important to Him as I am

8. Wounded, working through problems of their own

9. Those God has ordained for me to serve

10. An opportunity for me to help and encourage

11. An opportunity for me to practice kindness and mercy

12. Those for whom I should be praying

13. A mirror into my own soul

Chapter 3 ‒ In the meadow

1. See the insects buzzing around the clover when you are discouraged. God put them there for a reason.

2. The bees are there, doing tedious work for long hours.

3. They do not complain. They do what is best for the family.

4. They are not deterred by the winds and storm, nor by the daily tedium, but stay focused.

5. They are not overwhelmed by the large field of clover, even though they are small. They concentrate on the job in front of them – one flower at a time.

6. They are not looking for another job that pays better. They are faithful.

7. They are not concerned with death, but they do know the time is short in which they can work.

8. They stay busy. They know that the work is good work, and they do what they should be doing.

9. The butterflies and moths are there, too. They are not bees, but God has called them alongside the bees to do the same work. 

10. The bees are not jealous, nor do they believe they are the only ones who do the work well, even though the butterflies cannot make honey.

11. The butterflies are high profile but do not lose their balance.

12. They are not concerned with the brevity of their lives either, but they show beauty and grace while they can.

13. They are not afraid to drink deeply from the flower and enjoy it.

14. They do not brag to the bees that they are more beautiful and graceful.

15. The crickets are in the field, too. They don’t work the clover patch, but they also do not fear death, for they have lots of children.

16. They do not worry about the future – they sing.

17.  None of these creatures worries about world events, but they just continue to concentrate on the job set before them and they do it joyfully and diligently, thanking God that they have a job.

18. Father, while there is still a flower in front of me, let me work and enjoy it. Selah.

Chapter 4 ‒ Precepts I learned from my mother and father

1. Always comb all of your hair, from the part all the way down. Don’t just comb the ends.

2. Anything that’s on the floor gets stepped on – including school papers, your glasses, or your body!

3. Ask a silly question, you get a silly answer. 

4. Example of a silly question: Are you going to spend all day in the bathroom? 

5. I’m sure you can think of a silly answer.

6. Don’t sweat the petty stuff. 

7. Or, don’t pet the sweaty stuff.

8. If you enjoyed the taste and smell of breakfast in the kitchen on a cold day, pass on the favor and make breakfast for your own children.  

9. Be a good example for your children, for they are looking up to you.  

10. Don’t violate their trust, for they need to believe in you.