We never named our home in Burrows as we did that house in Maryland. But this old house could have been named “The Shoe,” and I was the old woman who lived in it (at least I got to be that way, eventually). Burrows even has its own cemetery, and Eric and I will probably take advantage of that someday.
This is the way “The Shoe” looks now.
When we began homeschooling in the fall of 1983, we closed our thriving singing telegram business...
…and I stopped going to Purdue. I was full-on committed to teaching our two children at home. It was just two little desks and a flag up against the wall of our two-bedroom house on 19th Street in Lafayette.
I was sure that was all the kids we would ever have. In fact, I had told Dr. Wolfe that we had decided to only have two kids. So since I’d heard it was easier to get a tubal ligation right after giving birth, he should plan to do that after my second baby (Emily) was born. He asked my age, and when I told him I was 24, he said, “No, you’re too young for that, you’ll change your mind,” and threw some birth control pills in my lap.
I was somewhat annoyed, but we did use the pills. I was not kidding, and I was not going to change my mind! We were only going to have two! How could I manage more than that? Then, a single mom who went to our church and had to work to support her little family, needed to find a babysitter for her three-year-old girl until she and her fiancé got married. Suddenly we had three in our home school!
Meagon was cute and smart, but she could not grasp the alphabet. As I worked with her, I finally realized she just needed to sing to learn, and I made up a song in the style of “Frances,” the children’s books, to go with our phonics flashcards. She was getting it! And all our kids learned “A is for apple pie, B is for bed” using those same flashcards. I also was able to teach her how to spell her name and say “please.” These were very great accomplishments!
And it was a revelation to me that I was actually able to take care of all three of them, and it wasn’t too bad! Instead of crossing Elmwood Avenue to go shopping at Payless with a child’s hand in each of mine, we learned to cross with a line of four, all holding hands.
And our two girls grew, and they were so cute and talented! When Lisa was six and Emily was four, they both were cast in Lafayette Civic Theatre’s production of The Sound of Music as two of the Von Trapp children. There had been hundreds of kids who’d tried out, and they double cast those parts to give more children a chance to be in the production, but the Haley kids made up a full seventh of the children in the show. I could not have been a more proud stage mom.
In coordination with the production, we did a unit study in our home school on the War, Nazis, Catholicism, Austria, and Germany, singing (do-re-mi), and anything else we could think of, and memorized lines and songs. Our kids always knew their lines, putting some of the high school cast members to shame. And as great as the production was as a whole, the reviewer in the local paper said that Emily Haley stole the show as Gretl. (Sorry about that, Maria!)
So I kind of wanted another one, but I was firm – no more kids!
Then a few things happened all at the same time. One was, we heard about Operation Rescue from a friend, and began to participate. And I was challenged by this. There was a list of all the reasons why women have abortions, including financial ones and concerns that they couldn’t handle more than the children they already had. The reasoning was, if you are using birth control to limit the size of your family for any of the reasons on this list, how can you tell an abortion-minded woman that she should just trust God when you can’t?
We also had a court date coming up (for criminal trespassing, a Class A Misdemeanor), and the women in the group were told by our pro bono Operation Rescue attorneys that it would look better for our case if we went to court arguing that we had blocked the doors of the abortuary because they were killing babies, and we were pregnant ourselves.
Lastly, after Meagon's mom was married, she had a little baby boy who was the cutest child EVER. I would see this little toddler running around and “playing” the piano, and would attempt to pick him up and put him in my lap, but little Caleb would have none of it, and he ran away screaming.
I decided I wanted one of my own, so Eric and I went to work on the project, putting the pills aside with the decision to leave our family size in the Lord’s hands.
In June of 1987, Lawrence Christian (Chris) was born. His name means that he is a Victorious Christian and that is what I have always believed for him. At 19 months old, he could sing a song back to me in perfect pitch after hearing it while I rocked him “to sleep.”
When he was born, Eric was working at Lafayette Home Hospital again as a monitor technician, so we had hospital benefits, like we’d had with Emily, but he was really taken aback to hear that he had a son. We had to check Chris again, for the “right stuff” and sure enough, he had them!
Eric needed to do something about our living accommodations, so he eyed the back porch and finally built a small room in that area and took out much of the back “wall of separation” so that the new room was directly adjoining the second bedroom. We put a bunk bed in there and a small built-in closet, and that’s where we housed both girls. Chris’s baby bed was placed in the original second bedroom. The girls had to travel through Chris’s room to reach theirs.
Then I got pregnant again, and we had to move. How could we put four children in what started out as a two-bedroom house? If it was a girl, there was no way we could put three girls in the tiny bedroom. So we started looking. We needed a three- or four-bedroom house for our growing family, depending on whether this was a girl or a boy. But all the houses we checked out in Lafayette were either too expensive or the rooms were really tiny. We were not impressed.
One day I saw a copy of a real estate newspaper at Payless and flipped through it. There was this beautiful large, brown two-story house, and the description said, “You won’t mind the drive when you see how nice I am.” We had never heard of Burrows and had no idea how far away it was. But since it was Thanksgiving Day, and the realtors were all not interested in showing us a house, Eric and I decided to find out, and yes, it was a pretty long drive! When we got to Burrows, we drove around awhile, but you couldn’t miss this house. Burrows is small, and there is no other house like it – probably no other house like it in the whole region. The price was right – $32,250.00. By early February of 1989, we had moved in.
Our house is made of hollow brown glazed sculptured clay tile, more commonly used for commercial purposes, and at the time we bought it, it sat upon about an acre-and-a-half of land. It was built in the 1880s from a pattern purchased from Sears & Roebuck, so it was over a hundred years old. The real estate ad listed a “carriage house” and a “smoke house,” as well as the matching outhouse, which is a three seater with a baby hole. The carriage house probably once was the home of a horse and carriage, but we just call it the yellow barn.
This is the way the yellow barn looks now ‒ and the outhouse.
The smoke house was really just a summer kitchen that sat behind the main house. It had two doors leading to it, which corresponded to two back doors on the house. To keep the heat down in the summer during the canning season, all the food preservation happened in the summer kitchen.
Fortunately, a previous owner had installed indoor plumbing and turned part of the kitchen in the main house into a bathroom in the 50s, so we didn’t have to use the original facilities. On cold winter's nights, we were glad to not have to unbutton our long johns and expose our bare bottoms to the wood of the outhouse seat.
There were two smaller bedrooms and one, very large open bedroom across the front of the house on the second floor. Chris still remembers crawling around in that huge expanse when we first moved in. And somehow, the previous owner had managed to put a pool table up there ‒ we couldn’t figure out how!
In September of 1989, Susanna Rose (Susie) was born. Her name is all about flowers. (A lily and a rose) and she was named after Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley. Mrs. Wesley had more than 20 children, and John and Charles were some of the youngest. This woman of faith believed that God would change the world through her children and He sure did!
Susie was born on Labor Day, which was a minor irritation to my obstetrician. Dr. Wickert didn’t think that was funny like I did – he wanted a day off! So when he didn’t see enough progress in my labor, he left the hospital to have lunch with his family and walk his dogs. A few minutes later, the one nurse who was left on the floor eating her lunch heard my breathing change, quickly checked me, and frantically called Dr. Wickert to tell him I was in transition and getting ready to push. He didn’t make it for the delivery, but the nurse was there, and she nervously but carefully freed the cord from around Susie’s neck.
After that, I decided a doctor wasn’t so necessary. My grandpa decided to pay the bill for our hospital stay, which was good because we didn’t really have the means this time, and his gift meant we didn’t have to go into debt or hock any of our kids. And even better, Dr. Wickert gave us a refund on our pre-paid fees because he’d missed the birth.
We were still doing rescues (which were sorta like “sit-ins,” but that word is so 70s) for Operation Rescue at the time, and I was very surprised when I appeared before the judge on my court date. The attorney had asked me a lot of questions about our finances. I told him about gardening, canning, how many children we had, the bottom line on our tax returns, and how we got by as the Lord provided. So the first thing the attorney said to the judge was not about “The Necessity Defense,” which was the idea that we were trespassing and blocking the doors with our bodies to save lives out of necessity.
Instead, the attorney questioned me about our kids and canning, and then he just said, “I would like to have her case dismissed for indigence” (or something like that, that sounded more like legalese), and he handed the judge my tax returns. The whole court hearing took about five minutes and my case was summarily dismissed, along with my court fees. The truth is, I didn’t even know what the word “indigence” meant and I had to look it up when I got home. It meant that I was “needy.” And when I think of how I stand before my Lord Jesus, poor and needy, I can agree.
Bow down Your ear, O LORD, hear me; For I am poor and needy. ~Ps. 86:1
In September of 1991, on the first day of fall, Robyn Elaine was born. But she was born at home. I had met a beautiful midwife named Sharon, who calmed my fears and objections sufficiently, such as how we would keep the mess from childbirth from making our house gross, and whether she would break my water bag when it was time. The answer to the first question: Newspapers and towels. The second? No, she wouldn’t break the waters. I would go into labor without that, it would make the contractions easier, and she had never seen a baby delivered in the bag. It would break on its own.
The older kids had invented a game called, “Sharon, get the baby out!” and they played it upstairs while I was laboring downstairs. We usually had other people come over to assist the midwives any way they could, including some who watched over the kids.
Robyn’s name means the robin bird and Light. What better way to spread the Light of the World than to have a little blonde, blue-eyed girl with a passion for Jesus?
Valerie Grace was born in November of 1993. Her birth was more difficult. I was really large and Sharon thought she could be twins, or else one big baby and a lot of water, so she called in a second midwife, MaryAnn, who had a doppler instead of just a fetoscope. She said she could not hear a second heartbeat, so her guess was the one big baby and a lot of water, and she was right.
Things are much more laid back with a home birth – no hooking the mother up to machines. My midwives carried oxygen with them, but by and large, my attendants were far more in tune with me and the baby and our needs, instead of just focusing on the monitors. When Valerie was born, her shoulders were stuck, and Sharon and MaryAnn worked together to “get the baby out.” Valerie means “Valiant” or “Brave,” and she is here by God’s grace!
Lisa illustrated a cartoon book called “Cheaper By the Half-Dozen” as a project, and we produced copies for all our relatives for Christmas. In it, she describes the birth of her awesome baby sister Valerie, my #6, and just how much her siblings loved her.
By this time, Eric’s mother, Rejonnah, had said something to Eric about “crazy people who have too many kids and they can’t provide for them.” We were concerned about that because at the time, I was already pregnant again. How could we tell her about how irresponsible we’d been? This would be our #7.
Eric’s sister Elaine happened to be in town, and we were all together for Easter that year, at our house. We asked Elaine (Lainey) on the side about how she recommended telling her mom that I was pregnant again. She said, “I’ll tell her!” And after hinting around in several different ways, including an impromptu song and dance, she outright told her that I was pregnant, so we thought that was that.
A few weeks later, Eric mentioned the coming baby when he was over at her apartment, and it finally sank in with her that I was pregnant. She really hadn’t heard Lainey the first time! But she didn’t condemn. Her reaction was “Oh? Really? I was wondering what was taking so long. I figured it was about time for another one.” I guess she just thought we were crazy but she had grown to accept it. Not that she wasn’t careful to put things up on higher shelves when we came to visit, but she really did love her grandkids! And in the end, she became an advocate for us. She was very apt to tell people who were critical to mind their own business! – we were doing just fine!
Whatever we did, we did with a baby, whether it was attending a Purdue football game or directing a play. I even took a baby to my high school reunion in California – yeah, I was the only one who did that. I got used to the feel of a small, soft head under my chin, and it was comforting to me. I also really love kissing a soft spot and feeling a little heartbeat there.
View over a baby head, but this one is a grandbaby.
When I was 8 months pregnant with David, we had a wedding for Lisa out in the front yard with the yellow barn as a backdrop. The groom’s mother was also 8 months pregnant at the wedding, and it was rather different to see both the mother-of-the-bride and the mother-of-the-groom waddling around in maternity dresses.
David Spencer, named after King David, of course, was born in June of 1996. His middle name is a family name on Eric’s side, and it means someone who has the wherewithal to divide up property (dispense) fairly, rather like a steward. He and Lisa’s oldest boy, Jay, were the best of friends as they grew up, and for me it was a great time of bonding, nursing my baby boy side-by-side with my daughter and her baby boy.
Still, Lisa moved out, as married children do, so The Shoe was never overly full. We used bunk beds for the girls in the big bedroom, and Baby David’s bed was moved in with Chris.
Besides, Lisa had already moved to the attic so she could have some peace and quiet. Her attic room was really hot in the summer and cold in the winter, so her fiancé helped Eric install some insulation and siding up there.
When I was pregnant with Vivian, we couldn’t think of a good name, so we took a trip to Michigan and brainstormed the whole way. At the time, Jack Kevorkian was killing people with his suicide machines. He provided the lethal drugs and the victims pushed the button to dispense the drugs into their own systems. Then he would drop off a body at the morgue. It was very gruesome, and law enforcement finally took care of the problem when an emboldened “Dr. Death” decided to show the whole procedure on national television. He is in prison for life now.
But it was a deciding factor, as we headed to Michigan, Kevorkian’s home state, with our soon-coming #8. The baby girl name we chose was “Vivian,” which means “Alive” and “Belle,” which means “Beautiful.” I was very grateful for our large family, and for our #8 – the number, by the way, of “new beginnings.” Vivian was very much alive – I could feel her moving and kicking in the womb at 22 weeks, and her aliveness was the exact opposite of the death demon in Michigan. (Coincidentally, she lives in Michigan now.)
Vivian was my very last home birth, and when she was born in October of 1998, the midwife pronounced her “dangerously cute.”
At this point in our family, photographers could only capture our family all together by piling them up.
And eventually, the community heard that we sang. So people thought of us and our seven kids as the Carroll County Von Trapp family and we started getting paid gigs at churches, women’s clubs, and Christmas parties. We were tough competition at talent shows.
I had a long talk with my high school friend about this time. She was considering having a child, but wasn’t sure, so she was doing her research by talking to me about why having children would be a good idea. I said she’d been living in a left-wing state too long. And I pointed to the Bible verses about children being a blessing from God. Finally, she made a decision to have children, and she had two. And she no longer lives in the left-wing state, so I’m proud of her!
Eric and I now have 8 children, 19 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren, along with 6 children-in-law and 2 grandchildren-in-law. There are more family members on the way, too, that you’ll hear about soon enough. But as Pastor Joe pointed out, our family is scattered. Several of them remain in Carroll County, but probably in only a few months’ time, only Eric and I will remain in The Shoe. This is as it should be...
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.” ~Psalm 127:3-5
When you are a warrior with arrows, you shoot them. Or when you have candles, you spread them out so they can light up a greater area. Our children know Jesus, and God has spread them out to do the most good, to advance His kingdom on earth. Wherever one of our kids goes, they make us proud.
Here is a precept for building a good house, one that will last, even in times like these:
"But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do the things which I say?Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great." ~Luke 6:46-49
Dear Father in Heaven, You are the Father of a very large family and You love each of its members, both great and small. Your Word says that You have placed us in families, and it’s there that we can learn about love so that we can understand Your loving care for us. You have built our house, the Haley House, upon Your Word, a sure, solid foundation in times of tumult and testing. May we and all of our children and our children’s children, always know Your Word and be sure to do it. In the name of Jesus, Your Holy Son, Amen.
��Eric and Margie had many grandkids. Many grandkids had Eric and Margie. I am one of them. Theres 19. So lets all praise the lord! ��
ReplyDeleteLoved this post!
Not only that, but you are one of the few grandkids who also have lived here in The Shoe!
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